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TSARNAEV BROTHERS’ MOM: SONS THOUGHT COPS WERE THE BOMBERS, ATTACKED THEM WITH EXPLOSIVES TO DEFEND BOSTON

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DEMOCRATS PUSH FOR LIMITS ON HIGH-CAPACITY ASSAULT FERTILIZER PLANTS

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WHITE HOUSE LIMITS SECRET SERVICE DEATIL TO 7 ROUND MAGS, TO HIRE 27 MORE AGENTS TO OFFSET LOSS OF FIREPOWER

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PUTIN REVIVES MEDAL OF LENIN, NAMES OBAMA FIRST RECIPIENT FOR “NO PARTICULAR REASON”

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KIM JONG UN: LEGO ROCKET DIDN’T PERFORM AS DEPICTED ON BOX

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OBAMA WH PREPARES FOR ‘JOHNNY WALKER’ SUMMIT WITH KIM JONG-UN

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CA PROPOSES EXHALATION TAX WHILE CITIZENS HOLD THEIR BREATH

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CHICAGO VOTERS THREATEN REVOLT, MAYOR DOUBLES SECURITY AT CEMETERIES

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CHINA REBUFFS CA, WILL NOT ADMIT TO PRC AS NEW PROVINCE

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FIRST FAMILY SPONSORS “PICK OUR NEXT VACATION” CONTEST – WINNER TO RECEIVE $25 WAL*MART GIFT CARD

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OBAMA GAINS ON NOBEL ECONOMICS PRIZE FOR WORK ON POVERTY REDISTRIBUTION

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NORTH KOREAN PAPER MACHE ROCKET REACHES FAR SIDE OF LAUNCH PLATFORM IN ATTEMPTED ANNIHILATION OF U.S.

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