Filed under: Satire
November 30, 2004 • 5:25 am 0
>BUSH NOMINATES KELLOG’S TONY THE TIGER FOR COMMERCE SECRETARY
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November 29, 2004 • 2:51 pm 0
>MICHAEL MOORE GETS STAR ON HOLLYWOOD WALK OF SHAME
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November 29, 2004 • 2:46 am 0
>U.N. URGES UKRANIANS TO RESOLVE ELECTION DISPUTE BY ‘SITTING AROUND AND HOPING’
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November 27, 2004 • 10:24 pm 0
>JONES SODA INTRODUCES ‘CASTOR OIL’ AND ‘DOG MESS’ FLAVORS
Filed under: Satire
November 26, 2004 • 1:55 pm 0
>WAL-MART RUNNING OUT OF MULLET COMBS AND THOSE CHEAP TVS THEY ALWAYS PUSH
Filed under: Satire
November 24, 2004 • 8:41 pm 0
>BARRED FROM THANKING ‘GOD’, PUBLIC SCHOOL KIDS OPT TO THANK LUNCH LADY AND CONDOM DISTRIBUTOR
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November 24, 2004 • 5:38 pm 0
>SURVEY: MOST PEOPLE NOT IMPRESSED WITH ‘GANGSTER CARS’
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November 24, 2004 • 3:27 pm 0
>SCOTT PETERSON DYES HAIR BLONDE AGAIN IN ATTEMPT TO DUCK DEATH PENALTY
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November 24, 2004 • 2:20 pm 0
>OJ SIMPSON CLAIMS PROGRESS IN PURSUING ‘KILLER’ ON MIAMI’S GOLF COURSES
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November 24, 2004 • 2:20 pm 0
>HOLIDAY FESTIVITIES THREATEN TO INTERFERE WITH TRAVEL PLANS FOR SOME
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November 23, 2004 • 8:13 pm 0
>MICHAEL MOORE DIAGNOSED WITH FAT COW DISEASE… DEVELOPING…
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November 23, 2004 • 6:02 pm 0
>DNC PLANS FOR ‘WINNING ELECTIONS IN THE FUTURE’ BY MORE AGGRESSIVELY FINANCING OHIO RECOUNT
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November 23, 2004 • 5:22 pm 0
>COURT ORDERS THAT ‘SOME SUPERNATURAL, TOLERANT, AND POLITICALLY CORRECT BEING’ BE THANKED, NOT GOD
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November 23, 2004 • 4:54 pm 0
>OZZY OSBOURNE BITES HEAD OFF BURGLAR DURING BREAK-IN SCUFFLE
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November 23, 2004 • 3:49 am 0
>MINUTES WORTH OF BASKETBALL GAMEPLAY BREAKS OUT IN MIDDLE OF CHICAGO BULLS – PHOENIX SUNS FIGHT
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Filed under: Satire
November 23, 2004 • 3:06 am 0
>NBA COMMISSIONER LEVIES STIFF PUNISHMENT ON SPECTATORS: BANS ASSAULT ON PLAYERS, MISSILE PROJECTING, HECKLING, CHEERING
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November 22, 2004 • 11:51 pm 0
>KERRY BLAMES FOXNEWS FOR HIS FAILURE; SAYS NETWORK ‘DISPLAYED MY FACE IN ATTEMPT TO TURN OFF VOTERS’
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November 22, 2004 • 4:07 pm 0
>DETROIT PISTONS’ FANS SUSPENDED FOR 10 GAMES…DEVELOPING…
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November 22, 2004 • 3:32 pm 0
>NBA, NHL, BOXING TO MERGE DUE TO ‘SIMILARITY OF PLAY’
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November 22, 2004 • 2:28 pm 0
>ALEXANDER SCHOLZYNISTAN WADES INTO STANDS AT CHESS MATCH, BLOODIES CHESS HECKLER
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November 21, 2004 • 6:24 pm 0
>NATION ON EDGE TODAY AS ‘PROFESSIONAL’ SPORTING EVENTS TAKE PLACE
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November 21, 2004 • 12:36 am 0
>PACERS’ RON ARTEST: ‘I DON’T GET PAID ENOUGH TO NOT JUMP INTO THE STANDS AND BEAT UP FANS’
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Filed under: Satire
November 20, 2004 • 11:09 pm 0
>VISITORS TO RAINY CLINTON LIBRARY OPENING WARY ABOUT CATCHING COLD, VENEREAL DISEASES
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November 20, 2004 • 9:13 pm 0
>ALL HECK BREAKS LOSE IN SO-CALLED ‘PROFESSIONAL’ SPORTS
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November 19, 2004 • 2:06 pm 0
>CLINTON: ‘THE LIBRARY REPRESENTS MY PURPOSE, MY VISION, MY LIBIDO’
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November 19, 2004 • 2:05 pm 0
>CROWD OF ONLOOKERS DISAPPOINTED AS METEOR TURNS OUT ONLY TO BE ALIEN SPACECRAFT
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November 19, 2004 • 1:13 pm 0
>BUSH CAUGHT IN VERBAL GAFFE, SAID CLINTON ‘SERVED AMERICA’
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November 19, 2004 • 12:07 am 0
>CLINTON LIBRARY OPENING SHOWCASES END OF CHELSEA CLINTON’S ‘AWKWARD STAGE’
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November 18, 2004 • 1:48 pm 0
>GOTTI BRAT SCREAMS ‘DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!" WHILE GETTING BEAT TO A MUCH-DESERVED PULP
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November 18, 2004 • 2:24 am 0
>OUSTED SEN. DASCHLE FINDS WORK AS MALE PAGE FOR BARNEY FRANK’S CONGRESSIONAL OFFICE
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Filed under: Satire
November 18, 2004 • 2:02 am 0
>CLINTON LIBRARY’S ‘WOMEN OF ILL REPUTE’ WING RUNS OUT OF SPACE, MOVED TO NEARBY WHAREHOUSES
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Filed under: Satire
November 17, 2004 • 10:37 pm 0
>MYSTERIOUS IMAGE OF VIRGIN MARY APPEARS IN CHURCH STAINED GLASS WINDOW DEPICTING CHRIST BIRTH
Filed under: Satire
November 17, 2004 • 10:13 pm 0
>KERRY PREPS TO GIVE SPEECH SAYING BUSH ‘BETRAYED OUR COUNTRY… HE PLAYED ON OUR FEARS!’
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Filed under: Satire
November 17, 2004 • 9:08 pm 0
>SEN. SPECTER: ‘I APOLOGIZE FOR MY CONTROVERSIAL STATEMENT THE OTHER DAY, WHICH I DID NOT SAY’
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November 17, 2004 • 8:43 pm 0
>THE LEFT MOVES TOWARD SANITY, WILL CALM DOWN AND ONLY ‘GO NUTS’ FROM NOW ON
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Filed under: Satire
November 17, 2004 • 5:06 pm 0
>SWIFT BOAT VETS ENCOURAGE KERRY TO RUN AGAIN IN ’08
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November 17, 2004 • 4:02 pm 0
>MACHINE GUN NEST OPERATOR TOLD TO ‘KEEP IT DOWN’ DURING AFTERNOON PRAYERS AT MOSQUE
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November 17, 2004 • 3:57 pm 0
>PROVING MEN’S DESIRE FOR NEW AND UNFAMILIAR WOMEN, BILL CLINTON EYES HILLARY AT LIBRARY OPENING
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November 17, 2004 • 3:41 pm 0
>WAL-MART SECURITY COUNCIL FILES RESOLUTION TO BAR SEARS/K-MART MERGER
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November 17, 2004 • 1:46 pm 0
>GRILLED CHEESE WITH VIRGIN MARY APPARITION AUCTION ON EBAY REACHES $3 IN BIDDING FRENZY
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November 17, 2004 • 4:52 am 0
>DEMOCRATS TO RE-TOOL PARTY, BEGIN TALKING ABOUT ‘RELIGIOUS STUFF’
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Filed under: Satire
November 17, 2004 • 2:55 am 0
>NEW REALITY HUNTING SHOW THREATENS TO SHOW FOOTAGE OF INNOCENT ANIMALS BEING ‘HARMED’
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Filed under: Satire
November 16, 2004 • 9:54 pm 0
>THE LEFT COMES CLEAN ABOUT THEIR CRAZY IDEAS: ‘SURPRISE, AMERICA, YOU’RE ON CANDID CAMERA’
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November 16, 2004 • 5:00 pm 0
>OHIO DEMOCRAT IS ASKED TO BE LAST MAN TO DIE FOR KERRY’S CAMPAIGN
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November 16, 2004 • 4:03 pm 0
>SHOCKING CLAY AIKEN ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT HIS SEXUAL ORIENTATION TURNS OUT TO JUST BE ABOUT CHARITY GIG
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November 16, 2004 • 3:26 pm 0
>GUNSHOTS AT VIBE MUSIC AWARDS WERE ‘IN MOURNING OVER ARAFAT’S DEATH’
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Filed under: Satire
November 16, 2004 • 2:13 pm 0
>COLIN POWELL’S LIGHT SKIN TONE RENDERS CONDI FIRST ‘REAL’ BLACK SECRETARY OF STATE
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Filed under: Satire