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JOE BIDEN BRIEFED ON HURRICANE SANDY, DECLARES STATE OF CONFUSION

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NATIONAL EVENTS STRESS LIMITED NEWS CYCLE; OBAMA SUGGESTS FOX NEWS COVER STORM, MSNBC COVER ELECTION

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GAFFE-PRONE BIDEN PLEADS WITH RESIDENTS OF NYC AND NJ TO ‘PLEASE GO TO THE BEACH AND ENJOY THIS WEATHER’

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OBAMA EXPRESSES CONCERN OVER EAST COAST MEGA STORM, SUGGESTS ROMNEY EVACUATE THE U.S.

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OBAMA: FAILED BUSH POLICIES TO BLAME FOR EAST COAST SUPERSTORM

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OBAMA TO VISIT ALL 57 STATES IN DESPERATE TWO WEEK CAMPAIGN PUSH

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GOP SENDING CHUCK NORRIS TO MONITOR U.N. POLL MONITORS

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OBAMA: ‘I HAVEN’T RULED OUT VOTING FOR ROMNEY’, CITES CONCERNS OVER HIS PERSONAL DEBATE PERFORMANCES

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OBAMA TELLS VOTERS THAT HE NEEDS SECOND TERM TO ‘BECOME A BETTER DEBATER’

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OBAMA WINS DEBATE BY BOMBING, BUT NOT ‘TOTALLY’ BOMBING DEBATE

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OBAMA FAILS TO BREAK BIDEN’S DEBATE INTERRUPTION RECORD

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ROMNEY, LYING AND FLIP-FLOPPING, ACCORDING TO LYING AND FLIP-FLOPPING PRESIDENT

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PANERA SHOOTS DOWN STARBUCKS DRONE IN NJ

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HOPES RIDING HIGH ON OBAMA NOT TOTALLY BOMBING TOMORROW’S DEBATE

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BACK-ALLEY MARKET FOR BUCKETS OF SODA THRIVING IN NYC

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MADONNA TICKET SALES LAG DUE TO AGE, SENILITY

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PBS MOVES MUPPETS CLOSER TO ROMNEY BORDER IN APPARENT ACT OF AGGRESSION

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FIRE MARSHALL CANCELS OBAMA PENNSYLVANIA CAMPAIGN EVENT DUE TO OVERFLOW CROWD FROM ROMNEY’S LAS VEGAS SPEECH

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BIDEN’S DENTIST CLEAR WINNER IN VP DEBATE

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OBAMA CHEWS OFF LAST FINGERNAIL

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CONFUSED BIDEN PREPPING TO DEBATE PALIN AGAIN FOR LAST 6 DAYS

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BIDEN DOWNPLAYS AHEAD OF DEBATE: SAY’S ‘I’M BY FAR THE WORST DEBATER IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE’

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PAUL RYAN IN DEBATE PREP AGAINST ‘MORE CHALLENGING’ CARDBOARD CUT-OUT OF JOE BIDEN

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WHITE HOUSE: WHEN ALL VARIABLES CALCULATED CORRECTLY, UNEMPLOYMENT IS -3.7%

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OBAMA OVERHEARD TELLING VOTERS HE’ll HAVE ‘MORE FLEXIBILITY TO DEBATE’ AFTER ELECTION

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OBAMA DOC VISITS CONFLICT WITH NEXT TWO DEBATES; WHITE HOUSE SAYS ‘ONLY APPOINTMENT SLOTS AVAILABLE’

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BIDEN CLAIMS ‘ROMNEY WILL BURY OBAMA TONIGHT’ COMMENT WAS ONLY A BIDEN GAFFE

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AMERICAN AIRLINES PLEDGES MORE SCOTCH TAPE TO ‘MORE ADEQUATELY SECURE’ CABIN SEATS

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RACHEL MADDOW BLASTS ROMNEY’S ‘PATHETIC PERFORMANCE’ IN TONIGHT’S DEBATE

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11TH HOUR EXECUTIVE ORDER WILL ALLOW PRESIDENT TO USE TELEPROMPTER AT DEBATE

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