Prevent Truth Decay

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>GAS PRICE INCREASE SLOWS DOWN TO ONLY 12 CENTS PER DAY

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>SEN. OBAMA ‘OUTRAGED’ THAT OBAMA FAMILY MINISTER ALLOWED NEAR WORKING MICROPHONE

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>OBAMA’S MINISTER REARS ITS HEAD AGAIN

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>McCAIN TO NEW ORLEANS: ‘NEVER AGAIN WILL LEVEES BE SABOTAGED TO FLOOD HOMES AND KILL BLACK PEOPLE’

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>BARACK OBAMA TO ISSUE WEEKLY APOLOGIES FOR TIES WITH RACIST REVERENDS, TERRORISTS

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>JOHN McCAIN QUIETLY CELEBRATES 103rd BIRTHDAY

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>CLINTON PICKS UP A ‘MAYBE, NOW PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE’ COMMITMENT FROM SUPERDELEGATE

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>OBAMA: BITTER POPE CLINGS TO RELIGION

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>HARD-DRINKING HILLARY CLINTON MAKES PIT STOP FOR PULLED PORK BAR-B-QUE DURING ALL-MALE GATOR HUNT

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>DARFUR EXTENDS ECONOMIC AID PACKAGE OFFER TO U.S.

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>EARTHQUAKES, TORNADOES, FLOODS, AND DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES ADD TO ‘END OF WORLD’ FEARS

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>SHIITE MILITIAS PAUSE HOLY DAY FESTIVITIES TO CELEBRATE WITH ATTACK ON CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL

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>BUSH, CHENEY RELEASE SEN. CLINTON’S TAX RETURNS

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>OBAMA PLEDGES TO STAY ‘ON DEFENSE IN THE WAR AGAINST A PERCEIVED TERRORIST THREAT OF SOME SORT’

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>OBAMA BRUSHES OFF ANTI-CHRIST RUMORS

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