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OBAMA PLEDGES NO CELEBRATIONS ON ‘ANNIVERSARY OF MY SUCCESS IN KILLING BIN LADEN, THE WORLD’S MOST NOTORIOUS TERRORIST, WHOM I KILLED’

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OBAMA TO RUN ON ‘LOWER HIGH UNEMPLOYMENT’

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SECRET SERVICE DEFENDS CLINTON-INSPIRED BEHAVIOR

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GINGRICH HOPES GENTLEMANLY ENDORSEMENT OF ROMNEY WILL BOOST FLOUNDERING GINGRICH CAMPAIGN

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SANTORUM ENDORSES ‘THE CONCEPT OF A MORE CONSERVATIVE AND LESS MORMON’ ROMNEY

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NORTH KOREA’S PAPER MACHE ROCKET BREAKS APART ON TAKEOFF

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RON PAUL SEES EASY PATH TO NOMINATION AFTER SANTORUM EXIT

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RON PAUL TO FIGHT ON, VOWS TO CLINCH NOMINATION LOSS

Filed under: Satire

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