Prevent Truth Decay

The Funny Side of Horribly Depressing News

>NEW ICE AGE GREETS BOX OFFICE NUMBERS FOR AL GORE MOVIE

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>JEFFERSON (DEMOCRAT-SOME U.S. STATE): MONEY WAS IN FREEZER BECAUSE BANK’S AIR CONDITIONING WAS BROKE

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>ELIZABETH TAYLOR KILLS DEATH RUMORS WITH LIVE APPEARANCE ON LARRY KING

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>NEW IMMIGRATION DEAL GRANTS DISNEY ANNUAL PASSES TO ILLEGALS

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>KERRY RESPONDS TO SWIFT BOAT VETERANS

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>SWAT TEAMS DISCOVER WHOOPEE CUSHION IN 18 HOUR D.C. LOCKDOWN MELEE

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>PITT, JOLIE HAVE SPOILED RICH BABY

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>KAT DROWNS IDOL LOSS IN WILD TURKEY BOTTLE, ENDLESS LOOP OF ‘HAD A BAD DAY’

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>DAN BROWN INSISTS DA VINCI CODE IS ‘UNDENIABLY TRUE FICTION’

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>DA VINCI CODE PULLING ‘TENS OF FOLLOWERS’ FROM CHRISTENDOM

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>CENTER FOR DISEASE PREVENTION: HUMAN-TO-HUMAN TRANSMISSION OF LIBERALISM SUSPECTED IN MASSACHUSETTS

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>DAN BROWN PLACES RIGHT HAND ON DA VINCI CODE, SWEARS HE DIDN’T PLAGIARIZE

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>BUSH VISITS BORDER, IS ‘SHOCKED’ TO FIND NO GIGANTIC PROTECTIVE BARRIER

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>MEXICO OUTRAGED AS U.S. THREATENS TO ENFORCE ITS SOUTHERN BORDER

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>ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS MARCH, DEMAND MEMBERSHIPS TO CONGRESS

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>PAULA ABDUL’S COKE CUP INVESTIGATED FOR RUM

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>BUSH: NATIONAL GUARD TROOP POWERS WILL BE LIMITED TO ‘HANGING OUT’ AND ‘LOOKING’ AT BORDER

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>ENVIRONMENTALIST GROUPS URGE ALLIGATOR VICTIMS TO WEAR ‘BIODEGRADEABLE CLOTHING’

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>BUSH VOWS TO SECURE AMERICA’S BORDERS WITH IRAN, NORTH KOREA, CUBA, SYRIA, AND MASSACHUSSETS

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>NASA NIXES PLANS TO EXPLORE MYSPACE DUE TO RISING FUEL COSTS

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>AMERICAN IDOL HOPEFUL DAUGHTRY: ‘AMERICA DIDN’T EXPECT THIS AT ALL – IT CAME AS A COMPLETE SHOCK TO US’

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>Gov. Bush has ‘no idea’ whether presidential aspirations are in his future

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>KENNEDY: ‘I DON’T REMEMBER GETTING OUT OF BED, GOING TO THAT BAR, AND DRINKING ALL NIGHT’

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>CAPITOL POLICE SURRENDER TO PUBLIC PRESSURE, WILL MAKE KENNEDY TAKE SOBRIETY TEST

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>KENNEDY CHANGES STORY, SAYS ‘SOMEONE SLIPPED A RUM AND COKE IN MY AMBIEN’

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>LOST PRODUCERS: ‘ANA LUCIA WAS ARRESTED FOR DUI, SO WE SHOT HER’

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>DISNEY TO CLOSE RIDE THAT ‘KEEPS KILLING PEOPLE’

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>WENDY’S APOLOGIZES FOR HUMAN HEAD FOUND IN CHILI

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>COUNTLESS AMERICAN CITIZENS MARCH TO WORK, BEGIN PRODUCTIVE WORK WEEK

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>MEXICANS MARCH AGAINST ‘AMERICAN RULES AND LAWS’

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