Prevent Truth Decay

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>SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEARBY SOCIALIST COUNTRY THAT MAY SUPPORT LIFE

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>FLOUNDERING OBAMA ENDORSES LONGER SCHOOL YEAR, NOW LOSES SUPPORT OF CHILDREN

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>TWITTER OUTAGE DURING GLEE PROMPTS RIOTING IN MAJOR CITIES

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>SEN. FEINGOLD ‘TOO BUSY’ IN GARAGE TO ATTEND OBAMA-HOSTED FUNDRAISER IN FEINGOLD LIVING ROOM

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>JEOPARDY WINNER RUBBING IT IN EVERYONE’S FACE

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>TELEPROMPTER TYPO HAS SASHA PASSING FATHER WRONG SALAD DRESSING

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>GOOGLE TO CUT COSTS BY ANNIHILATING CITIES IT HASN’T YET STREET-VIEWED

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>OIL PRICES SET TO SPIKE IF ISRAEL ATTACKS U.N.

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>BLACKBERRY MAKERS WORRIED THEIR NEW TABLET MIGHT BE CRAP COMPARED TO APPLE’S

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>BARNEY FRANK SPLITS WITH OBAMA ADMIN OVER PROPOSED BAN ON FATTY FOODS

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>CLINTON ARRESTED IN JERUSALEM AMID TEMPLE MOUNT CLASH WITH ISRAELIS

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>REPUBLICANS’ ‘PLEDGE TO AMERICA’ INCLUDES FORCED RETIREMENT OF SEN. McCAIN

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>OBAMA INITIATES THIRD WAR AGAINST WOODWARD BOOK

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>OBAMA DISMISSES REPORT THAT MAJORITY OF DEMS WANT BUSH BACK

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>POLLSTER: NEW RATING SYSTEM NEEDED TO ACCOMMODATE SUB-ZERO OBAMA APPROVAL

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>RALLY TO END ALL MOCK RALLIES PLANNED FOR NATION’S CAPITAL

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>REPORT: OFFICERS SUCCESSFULLY WRAP UP LINDSEY LOHAN’S DAILY ARREST

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>U.S. MULLS RAISING RETIREMENT AGE TO 115

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>NEW ’25 HOUR ENERGY’ TO MAKE AMERICANS MORE PRODUCTIVE, REGAIN SUPERPOWER STATUS

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>RAHM EMANUEL TO ‘DRAIN THE SWAMP’ OF REMAINING HONEST CHICAGO POLITICOS

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>SCANDINAVIA’S CONFUSING HOMELAND SECURITY WARNING SYSTEM RAISED TO ‘TURQOISE AND A HALF’

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>DEMOCRATS ALREADY PLANNING ‘TAKE OUR COUNTRY BACK’ CAMPAIGN AGAINST OBAMA’S INEVITABLE REPUBLICAN SUCCESSOR

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>’CLINTON FOR CHANGE IN 2012′ CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS DISCOVERED IN STATE DEPARTMENT CLOAKROOM

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>OBAMA ADVISED NOT TO WEAR PALESTINIAN KEFFIYEH DURING MIDEAST PEACE TALKS

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>GOD STANDS BY STEPHEN HAWKING DESPITE PERSONAL ATTACKS

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>NETANYAHU HOPES ISRAEL CAN MAKE PEACE WITH ABBAS, OBAMA

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>CARDBOARD CUTOUT AT OVAL OFFICE DESK FAILS TO MASK OBAMA’S VACATION ABSENCE

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