Prevent Truth Decay

The Funny Side of Horribly Depressing News

>REMOVAL OF KWANZA TREES, DECORATIONS FROM SEN. KERRY’S HOMES TO COMPLETED BY MID-FEBRUARY

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>LEAK: DEMS PLAN TO BLAME RAPTURE ON GLOBAL WARMING, ‘IF IT HAPPENS’

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>DNC HIRES ‘MILLION LITTLE PIECES’ AUTHOR TO DISTRIBUTE OUR AGENDA TO THE PUBLIC THE WAY WE NEED IT TO BE REPRESENTED’

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>BUSH TO STOP TALKING TO DEMS, SAYS HE WILL NOT RECOGNIZE A PARTY DEDICATED TO THE ANNIHILATION OF AMERICA’

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>U.S. DEMOCRATIC PARTY CONSIDERS HAMAS-TYPE ‘ARMED WING’, WITHOUT RMS

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>’BROKEBACK II: THE FINAL BATTLE’ TO FEATURE AFFAIR BETWEEN TWO MALE ANTI-GAY PROTESTORS

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>’FARENHYPE 911′ WINS BEST PICTURE AT CANADIAN OSCARS

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>BUSH PREEMPTIVELY DENIES RESPONSIBILITY FOR DEATH OF SEAN PENN’S BROTHER

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>IRAN: DONATIONS TO HILLARY ’08 ARE ‘FOR PEACEFUL, NON-THREATENING PURPOSES ONLY’

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>G.O.P. CHEIF: "AMERICANS WILL NOT LET JUST SIT BACK IN ’08 AND LET HILLARY MAN-HANDLE US’

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>EARLY ADOPTERS GIVE THUMBS DOWN TO NEW ‘SPICY PEPSI’

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>U.S. REP BARNEY FRANK JOCKEYS FOR BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN II PART, CAMEO, OR FREE DVD

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>TED KENNEDY RE-ELECTION BID TIED TO FED’S PORN SEARCH REQUEST FROM GOOGLE

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>BIN LADEN TRUCE INCLUDES OFFER TO REBUILD IRAQ’S WMD PROGRAM

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>SEN. KENNEDY: 21-YR OLD OFFSPRING NEWS WAS ‘GOOD TIMING’, SAYS LOVE CHILD WAS ‘USELESS TO ME BEFORE DRINKING AGE’

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>NASA ASSURES FLORIDA EAST COAST RESIDENTS THAT PLUTONIUN-LADEN ROCKET ‘MIGHT NOT EXPLODE’ ON LAUNCH

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>GROUP OF TWO VIEWS ‘BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN’ AT THEATER, INCREASES FILM’S CHANCE OF OSCAR LOCK

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>NEW ORLEAN BLACK COMMUNITY BLAMES BUSH FOR MAYOR NEGIN’S RACIST MARKS

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>IRANIAN NEWS AGENCY WILL ALLOW CNN TO CONTINUE BROADCASTING ANTI-AMERICAN PROPAGANDA

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>NASA SATELLITE CRASHES SAFELY INTO HOUSE in UTAH

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>JUDGE ALITO QUESTIONS SEN. KENNEDY’S STRIP SEARCHING OF 10 TWENTYSOMETHING YEAR OLDS

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>RIPLEY’S AND GUINESS BOOK BID FOR RIGHTS TO SHOWCASE JOE BIDEN’S 7 MINUTE ‘QUESTION’ TO JUDGE ALITO

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>SEN. SPECTER: ‘MY FELLOW DEMOCRATS AND I WILL PROCEED WITH THE RESPECT THAT JUDGE ALITO DESERVES’

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>MAALOX SALES EXPLOSION BLAMED ON ‘TOO MANY’ TELEVISED IMAGES OF N. KENNEDY

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>HARRY BELAFONTE’S DEMENTIA REARS HIS UGLY HEAD AGAIN

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>HARRY BELAFONTE CRITICIZES BIN LADEN AS ‘WORLD’S GREATEST HERO’

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>ALITO TRIAL JUDGE REJECTS DEFENDANT’S REQUEST TO ATTEND PROCEEDINGS IN MEDICALLY-INDUCED COMA

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>PRINCE HARRY WINS BROTHER’S RIGHT YO BRITISH THRONE IN ‘ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS’ CONTEST

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>CHARLIE SHEEN, DENISE RICHARDS DIVORCE SHOCKS HOLLYWOOD

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>CASTRO SAYS NEW IMPROVED RICE COOKER WILL BE AVAILABLE AS SOON AS 2011

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>NBA PLAYERS THREATEN STRIKE OVER SUIT-AND-TIE GAMEWEAR REQUIREMENT

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NEW BIG MAC COMBO MEAL DEAL TO INCLUDE LARGER FRIES, $5 OFF MEDICAL BILLS

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>MSNBC: ‘WE’RE NOT GOING TO SPECULATE HERE, BUT THE TRAPPED MINERS ARE DEAD, PROBABLY’

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>REP. JIM McDERMOTT ANNOUNCES NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION TO ‘NOT BE A MPLETE AND UTTER ASS’

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