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>LEAK: SEN. CLINTON ‘SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE OF AN EXTREMELY LONG LIST’ OF OBAMA VP POSSIBLES

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>OBAMA PLANE DELAYED AS SECRET SERVICE SWEEPS SWOONING EUROPEAN GROUPIES FROM RUNWAY

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>INSIDER: OBAMA TEAM NIXED ‘OVERKILL’ PLAN TO HAVE CANDIDATE CARRY CROSS DOWN VIA DOLOROSA

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>HAMAS WISE MEN CLAIM FINDING OBAMA UNDER BETHLEHEM STAR

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>MICHAEL MOORE TO OPEN FOR OBAMA IN BERLIN’S LIBERALPALOOZA

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>BUSH URGES U.S. TO DRILL FOR CONGRESS’ APPROVAL RATING

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>CUSTOMER WAITS 2 DAYS IN POURING RAIN TO WITHDRAW $1.50 FROM TROUBLED BANK

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>HILLARY CLINTON BEGINS FUNDRAISING FOR 2012 AND POSSIBLY 2016 WHITE HOUSE ATTEMPTS

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>CHAVEZ THREATENS U.S. AGAIN, SAYS OIL MAY ‘REACH A TRILLION DOLLARS A BARREL’

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>ANGELINA JOLIE ONLY FIVE BABIES AWAY FROM THIRD WORLD BABY ADOPTION RECORD

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>OBAMA: BITTER BIBLE-TOTING AMERICANS WOULD RATHER SHOOT GUNS THAN LEARN SPANISH

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>REPORT: AMERICANS USING STIMULUS CHECK MONEY FOR GAS TO GET TO P.O. BOX TO PICK UP STIMULUS CHECK

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>CONSUMERS RELAX AS GAS PRICES PLUMMET ONE CENT

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>PENTAGON DENIES HILLARY CLINTON REQUEST TO BORROW B-2 BOMBER FOR DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION

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>SHIITE MILITIAS PAUSE HOLY DAY FESTIVITIES TO CELEBRATE WITH ATTACK ON CHILDRENS’ HOSPITAL

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>BENNY HINN FAINTS AT OBAMA STADIUM EVENT

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>EUROPEAN SOCCER MATCH CLAIMS ONLY 63 LIVES

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>EARTHQUAKES, HURRICANES, FLOODS, AND PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES ADD TO ‘END OF THE WORLD’ FEARS

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>DARFUR EXTENDS ECONOMIC AID PACKAGE OFFER TO U.S.

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>JOHN McCAIN QUIETLY CELEBRATES 104TH BIRTHDAY

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>MITT ROMNEY SET TO WIN FIRST WRITE-IN PRESIDENCY

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>OBAMA PLEDGES TO FLIP ‘FIND BIN LADEN’ SWITCH WITHIN ‘THE FIRST HUNDRED DAYS OF MY PRESIDENCY’

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>OBAMA SHIFTS POSITION ON IRAQ

>SAYS HE INTENDS TO EXPAND IRAQ WAR SCOPE, MAY CONSIDER INVADING IRAN, SYRIA, AND RUSSIA FOR THEIR OIL

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>OBAMA BLASTS OFFSHORE DRILLING PROPOSAL, SAYS IT WILL ‘TAKE DAYS TO GET GAS TO THE PUMPS’

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>EXPERT: 10 MPH NATIONAL SPEED LIMIT WOULD RESULT IN 8 CENT GAS PRICE PLUMMET

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>CHRIS MATTHEWS SMOKES CIGARETTE AFTER TOE-CURLING OBAMA SPEECH

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>OBAMA INSISTS LATEST FLIP FLOP SUPERCEDES THIRD CHANGE OF POLICY POSITION ON IRAQ TROOP WITHDRAWAL

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>SAMSUNG STRIKES OUT WITH ILL-TIMED GASOLINE POWERED TV

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>HILLARY CLINTON QUIETLY RAISING FUNDS FOR CAMPAIGN RESURRECTION

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>STORY OF DOG-CAT FRIENDSHIP PROVIDES RELIEF IN MIDST OF APOCALYPTIC GLOBAL TURMOIL

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>DRIVERS FLOCK TO THE PUMPS AS GAS PLUMMETS WITH ONLY 3 CENT PER GAL INCREASE

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