Prevent Truth Decay

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DEMS, REPUBLICANS SETTLE ON CHOPPING $65 FROM GOV SPENDING

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‘OH, OH, AHHH, AH’ LINE ADDS FLAVOR TO OTHERWISE CRAPPY TOP 40 SONG

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SOCIAL NETWORK ALLOWS INTERNATIONAL COMMUNITY TO LEARN OF LOCAL KID’S FIRST STEP

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MEDIA SWORN TO NOT REPORT CASEY ANTHONY’S NEW ADDRESS AT 329 VALLEY STREET IN MANVILLE, NEW JERSEY

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CASEY ANTHONY REPORTEDLY HIDING SAFELY IN ORANGE COUNTY JAIL

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LANDLORD OF BIN LADEN’S PAKISTAN COMPOUND DENIES CASEY ANTHONY RENTAL APP OVER ‘SECURITY CONCERNS’

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‘CASEY, WILL YOU MARRY ME?’ IDIOT IGNORED ON CASEY ANTONY EXIT

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CASEY ANTHONY ABOUT TO BE RELEASED INTO CARE OF ANTI-CASEY ANTHONY WORLD POPULATION

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INFLATION POISED TO PUT NATION ON A HUGE DIET

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PERPETUALLY WINKING JUDGE PERRY CLARIFIES ‘FILLETING OF JURORS’ NOT A SUGGESTION

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COURT: WEDNESDAY RELEASE DATE WAS CALCULATION ERROR; CASEY ANTHONY TO BE RELEASED ‘SOME WEDNESDAY IN 2081’

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MOTION FOR RELEASE OF JURORS’ NAMES FILED BY MEDIA, BOUNTY HUNTERS

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UPON RELEASE, CASEY ANTHONY PLEDGES TO FIND ‘REAL KILLER’; BAEZ REMINDS HER ABOUT POOL

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CASEY ANTHONY JURORS RETURN TO PISSED OFF FAMILIES, FRIENDS, NEIGHBORS, CO-WORKERS

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BAEZ’S FINAL REQUEST TO HAVE JUDGE PERRY MENTION TITLE OF HIS BOOK ON TV DENIED

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JOSE BAEZ HOPING TO FIND SOME NEW EVIDENCE SOMEHOW DURING CLOSING ARGUMENTS LUNCH BREAK

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JOSE BAEZ HOPES FAME FROM CASEY ANTHONY TRIAL WILL AFFORD MOVE OUT OF LAW OFFICE IN 7-11 RESTROOM

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MICHELLE BACHMANN ON MEDIA CRITICISM OF RECENT GAFFES: ‘UM, HAVE YOU GUYS MET JOE BIDEN?’

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CASEY ANTHONY’S DEFENSE “ATTORNEYS” REST THEIR “CASE”

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