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JOSE BAEZ FINALLY SWAYED BY STATE’S EVIDENCE, CAN’T BELIEVE CASEY LIED TO HIM

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ROY KRONK JUST WANTING TO GET BACK TO BUSCH LIGHT AND BEEF JERKY STICKS ON COUCH

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ROY KRONK EMBARRASSED THAT HOUSEHOLD NAME IS ROY KRONK

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CASEY ANTHONY TRIAL COVERAGE ECLIPSES NEWS OF WORLD WAR III START

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FEDERAL RESERVE TO ALLOW AUDIT OF ITS BON JOVI MEMORABILIA COLLECTION

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JOSE BAEZ CAUGHT GOOGLING ‘HOW TO STAGE A DEFENSE’ DURING CASEY ANTHONY TRIAL

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BAEZ SMARTPHONE SEARCH HISTORY FILLED WITH DICTIONARY QUERIES FOR WORDS ASHTON USED

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BAEZ WALKING AROUND DOWNTOWN ORLANDO LOOKING FOR NEW WITNESSES

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RORY MCILROY INHERITS ALL OF TIGER’S ‘GET IN THE HOLE’ IDIOTS

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WEINER OUT

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JOSE BAEZ TO READ DICTIONARY, PHONE BOOK, INTERNET IN ATTEMPT TO ‘FILIBUSTER’ FAILED DEFENSE

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JUDGE PERRY DENIES BAEZ REQUEST TO ALLOW FISTFIGHT WITH ASHTON

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JUDGE PERRY DENIES MISTRIAL MOTION ON BAEZ CLAIM THAT ‘I JUST SUCK AT THIS WHOLE LAWYER THING’

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JOHN EDWARDS MUG SHOT PRECEDED BY TWO WEEK-LONG SALON SESSION

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HECKLERS THE ONLY ONES NOW ATTENDING OBAMA SPEECHES

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CASEY ANTHONY OPTS FOR DEATH PENALTY INSTEAD OF TAKING STAND TO BE ‘QUESTIONED BY THAT BLONDE LAWYER’

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SPIDERMAN MUSICAL CLAIMS ANOTHER FEW DOZEN LIVES

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SEACHES FOR ‘CHLOROFORM’ AND ‘HOW TO GET TO ANDREW BREITBART’S HOUSE’ FOUND ON WEINER’S COMPUTER

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OBAMA ADDS $5 A DAY CASEY ANTHONY JURY TO U.S. EMPLOYMENT TOTALS

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RECOMPOSED CASEY ANTHONY RETURNS TO NORMAL BAFFLED MONKEY FACE

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NEW YORK TIMES: PALIN EMAIL HAS MISSPELLED EMOTICON

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CRUISE SHIP CAPTAIN, HEAD BLACKJACK DEALER BOTH DECLINE GINGRICH OFFER TO MANAGE HIS PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN

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WEINER INSISTS HE’LL REMAIN IN CONGRESS FOR ANOTHER FEW MINUTES OR SO

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MORAL, MARRIED, AND MONOGAMOUS CONGRESSMAN QUESTIONED ABOUT ‘ABNORMAL BEHAVIOR’

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CASEY ANTHONY TRIAL GROUPIE IS IN GREAT POSITION FOR LAST ROW BALCONY SEAT, BUT STILL JOBLESS

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ENTIRE HEAT TEAM NOW SICK AFTER NOWITZKI SLOBBER ATTACK

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FEDS DROP HAZMAT TENT OVER WEINER’S TWITTER ACCOUNT

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DESPITE BANK ADS, NO ONE REALLY PAYING BILLS FROM LAPTOP ON BEACH, OR WHILE MOUNTAIN CLIMBING

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OBAMA TELLS COUNTRY TO QUIT WHINING OR HE’LL GIVE US SOMETHING TO REALLY CRY ABOUT

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EXCITING NEW CACHE OF TEXAS OIL BLOWN ALREADY

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ECONOMY ADDS JOB

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AWESOME COUPONER JUST OUTRIGHT BUYS GROCERY STORE, GETS MONEY BACK

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