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The Funny Side of Horribly Depressing News

>SUPREME COURT REVERSES ABU MOSAB AL-ZARQAWI ASSASSINATION

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>MEDIA ORGASMS OVER RUSH LIMBAUGH VIAGRA STORY

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>JIMMY CARTER RUSHES TO NORTH KOREA TO ASSIST WITH NUKE TEST

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>COLD BOX OFFICE SALES FOR GORE MOVIE REVERSES GLOBAL WARMING

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>CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS FROM NATIONAL ARCHIVES FOUND IN ZARQAWI’S SOCKS

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>WHITNEY HOUSTON CELEBRATES 10TH BEATING -FREE DAY WITH CRACK PARTY

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>HIGHEST SOCCER SCORE EVER RECORDED IN ITALY’S 1-0 VICTORY OVER FRANCE IN WORLD CUP MATCH

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>ROVE GETS OFF ON ‘LACK OF WRONGDOING’ TECHNICALITY

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>POLL: MOST AMERICANS DON’T KNOW IF WORLD CUP INVOLVES SOCCER, HOCKEY, OR BOTH

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>BUSH CELEBRATES EARLY JULY 4 WITH TROOPS AND GIANT FAKE HAMBURGER PHOTO OP

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>NSA OVERWHELMED BY ‘MINDLESS BANTER AND GOSSIPY CHATTER’

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>GORE: ‘STRENGTHENING HURRICANE ALBERTO PROVES I’M NOT A TOTAL WHACKO’

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>U.S. MILITARY SUPPOSEDLY IDENTIFIES BODY OF AL-ZARQAWI AS ‘NOT A LATEX BODY DOUBLE’

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>ZARQAWI REJECTED BY HEAVENLY VIRGINS DUE TO ‘DISGUSTING FACIAL WOUNDS’

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>ZARQAWI DEATH LEAVES DEMOCRATIC PARTY WITH ‘ONE LESS SUPPORTER’

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>BATWOMAN RETURNS AS A MALE

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Filed under: Satire

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