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Filed under: Satire
December 31, 2008 • 11:51 pm 0
>LINE OF HUNDREDS ‘GROWING RESTLESS’ WAITING IN LINE AT TIMES SQUARE PORT-A-POTTY
December 31, 2008 • 5:11 pm 0
>MILLIONS SET TO PRETEND THEY ACTUALLY LIKE CHAMPAGNE
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Filed under: Satire
December 31, 2008 • 12:49 pm 0
>EARLIEST TIME ZONE IN NEW ZEALAND REPORTS THAT 2009 IS ‘PRETTY BAD, BUT COULD BE WORSE’
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Filed under: Satire
December 30, 2008 • 10:29 pm 0
>PRESIDENT BUSH TO ENTERTAIN CAROLINE KENNEDY’S REQUEST FOR PUBLIC SPEAKING TIPS
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Filed under: Satire
December 30, 2008 • 6:46 pm 0
>BLAGOJEVICH TO HOLD ‘CLOSED PRESS CONFERENCE’ BEHIND DUMPSTER AT LOCAL 7-11 TO NAME SUCCESSOR TO OBAMA SENATE SEAT
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Filed under: Satire
December 29, 2008 • 11:29 pm 0
>McCAIN’S PRESIDENTIAL AMBITIONS DASHED AGAIN AFTER NAILBITER MOOSE LODGE ELECTION
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Filed under: Satire
December 29, 2008 • 2:55 pm 0
>ISRAEL LAUNCHES ALL-OUT WAR AGAINST HAMAS, U.N. CRITICISM
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Filed under: Satire
December 24, 2008 • 7:20 pm 0
>CHRISTMAS DELAYED AFTER IRAN REVOKES SANTA FLYOVER RIGHTS
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Filed under: Satire
December 24, 2008 • 4:26 pm 0
>SANTA’S COAL SUPPLY STRETCHED THIN AFTER CONVOY OF SHIPS DEPART NORTH POLE TO DELIVER BLAGO’S CHRISTMAS GIFT
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Filed under: Satire
December 24, 2008 • 3:39 pm 0
>CNN PLANS 4 HOUR ‘DAY BEFORE KWANZAA’ SPECIAL ON DEC. 25
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Filed under: Satire
December 20, 2008 • 5:37 pm 0
>OBAMA: ‘I WON’T PLACE BLAME, BUT THIS GEORGE W. BUSH ECONOMY WILL TAKE YEARS TO RECOVER FROM’
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Filed under: Satire
December 19, 2008 • 5:42 pm 0
>AUTOMAKERS BURN THROUGH CASH OFFERED BY BUSH IN THIS MORNING’S PRESS CONFERENCE
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Filed under: Satire
December 19, 2008 • 2:06 am 0
>NYC MAYOR ADDS HOLIDAY GIFT EXCHANGES TO LIST OF ‘TAXABLE TRANSACTIONS’
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Filed under: Satire
December 19, 2008 • 1:07 am 0
>BUSH’S SHOE ATTACKER APOLOGIZES; ASKS FOR PARDON, SHOES BACK
December 18, 2008 • 2:57 am 0
>BLAGOJEVICH ATTEMPTS TO AVOID ‘THE HASSLE OF PRISON’ BY APPOINTING SELF TO SENATE
December 17, 2008 • 6:57 pm 0
>PENTAGON REPORTS FOUR MORE DEATHS IN BRATZ-BARBIES WAR
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Filed under: Satire
December 17, 2008 • 4:13 pm 0
>TIME MAG SHOCKS MOST, MAKES OBAMA ‘UNLIKELY’ PERSON OF YEAR PICK
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Filed under: Satire
December 16, 2008 • 3:31 pm 0
>FEDS THROW ‘ANOTHER BAZILLION OR SO’ AT ECONOMIC CRISIS
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Filed under: Satire
December 16, 2008 • 3:04 pm 0
>BERNARD MADOFF SENTENCED TO ‘FREEDOM ON THE STREETS OF PALM BEACH FOR A FEW HOURS OR SO’
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Filed under: Satire
December 15, 2008 • 8:44 pm 0
>McCAIN REMOVED FROM CONSIDERATION TO HEAD PALIN 2012 EXPLORATORY COMMITTEE
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Filed under: Satire
December 15, 2008 • 8:29 pm 0
>OBAMA SUGGESTS PLAYING LOTTERY TO ‘HOPEFULLY’ OFFSET PERSONAL FINANCIAL WOES
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Filed under: Satire
December 15, 2008 • 2:47 pm 0
>OBAMA DENIES BUSH SHOE ATTACKER ON SHORT LIST FOR CABINET POSITION
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Filed under: Satire
December 15, 2008 • 1:51 pm 0
>AL GORE CANCELS GLOBAL WARMING SPEECH DUE TO ‘UNBEARABLY FREEZING TEMPERATURES’ AGAIN
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Filed under: Satire
December 14, 2008 • 7:35 pm 0
>CARTER MASTERMINDS BREAKTHROUGH PEACE-BREAKING DEAL BETWEEN HAMAS AND NEIGHBORING ‘ZIONIST REGIME’
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Filed under: Satire
December 14, 2008 • 6:58 pm 0
>MSNBC TO COVER BUSH SHOE ATTACK INCIDENT TO NEW EXTENDED 26-HR A DAY FORMAT
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Filed under: Satire
December 13, 2008 • 7:06 pm 0
>ENTRENCHED ILLINOIS NUT JOB EYES REELECTION, FORMS EXPLORATORY COMMITTEE
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Filed under: Satire
December 12, 2008 • 6:01 pm 0
>NUMBER OF PEOPLE CELEBRATING KWAANZA UP 12 SINCE 2007
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Filed under: Satire
December 12, 2008 • 12:50 pm 0
>AUTOMAKER CEOS APOLOGIZE FOR ‘ASSUMING THE BAILOUT WOULD BE APPROVED’, SAY THEY ALREADY SPENT IT
>
Filed under: Satire
December 11, 2008 • 9:17 pm 0
>ILLINOIS GOV PROMPTS MORE ‘CRAZY NUT JOB’ CHARGES BY OFFERING TO DISCOUNT SENATE SEAT ‘BY FIFTY PERCENT’
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Filed under: Satire
December 11, 2008 • 3:58 pm 0
>BLAGOJEVICH’S APPROVAL RATING AMONG DEMOCRATS PLUMMETS TO 85%
>
Filed under: Satire
December 11, 2008 • 1:53 pm 0
>LAYOFF CONCERNS SKYROCKET AT AREA COMPANY AFTER RECEPTION AREA MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS NOT RENEWED
>
Filed under: Satire
December 11, 2008 • 1:48 am 0
>EMBATTLED ILLINOIS GOV PINS HOPES ON HEADS-UP SIDEWALK PENNY
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Filed under: Satire
December 10, 2008 • 6:28 pm 0
>OPRAH APPROACHES SLIM FAST WITH BAILOUT REQUEST
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Filed under: Satire
December 10, 2008 • 12:44 pm 0
>ILLINOIS GOV WON’T RESIGN, SAYS INCRIMINATING FBI TAPES ‘WERE PHOTOSHOPPED’
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Filed under: Satire
December 9, 2008 • 7:04 pm 0
>FEDS ARREST ILLINOIS GOV, YANK OBAMA SENATE SEAT OFF eBAY
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Filed under: Satire
December 9, 2008 • 5:57 pm 0
>AL FRANKEN OFFERS TO BUY OBAMA’S SENATE SEAT ‘IF THE DEAL IS STILL ON THE TABLE’
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Filed under: Satire
December 9, 2008 • 5:43 pm 0
>MALL SANTA ‘SCARED TO DEATH’ AFTER HOLIDAY GREETING FROM BEARDED TODDLER
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Filed under: Satire
December 9, 2008 • 2:18 pm 0
>OBAMA DAMPENS LOFTY EXPECTATIONS WITH WARNING THAT ARMEGEDDON ‘IS PROBABLY JUST AROUND THE CORNER’
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Filed under: Satire
December 8, 2008 • 7:03 pm 0
>AL FRANKEN: VOTERS SHOULDN’T BE DISENFRANCHISED ‘JUST FOR MISPLACING THESE 300 BALLOTS UNDER MY SOFA CUSHIONS’
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Filed under: Satire
December 8, 2008 • 6:37 pm 0
>COMPANIES DITCH ‘GO GREEN’ EFFORTS FOR MORE RELEVANT ‘TRY TO GO BLACK’ CAMPAIGNS
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Filed under: Satire
December 8, 2008 • 2:37 pm 0
>PENDING OBAMA PRESIDENCY BAILS OUT FLOUNDERING FIREARM INDUSTRY
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Filed under: Satire
December 5, 2008 • 8:44 pm 0
>O.J. PROMISES MIAMI BEACH PARTY CROWD HE’LL RESUME SEARCH FOR NICOLE’S KILLER ‘IN 15-30 YEARS’
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Filed under: Satire
December 5, 2008 • 1:37 pm 0
>EXPERT: EUPHORIA OVER O.J. SENTENCE MAY ECLIPSE HOLIDAY JOY
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Filed under: Satire
December 5, 2008 • 3:39 am 0
>OLD NAVY DECORATES STORES TO CELEBRATE ‘CHANUKAH, KWAANZA, AND OTHER HOLIDAYS THAT MIGHT EXIST IN THE MONTH OF DECEMBER’
December 4, 2008 • 5:36 pm 0
>LOCAL MAN ASKS CONGRESS FOR $82.13 BAILOUT PACKAGE TO HELP HIM ‘SURVIVE THE WEEK’
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Filed under: Satire
December 4, 2008 • 3:17 pm 0
>CHRYSLER CEO LAUGHS OFF CRITICS, ASKS NASA TO LEND SPACE SHUTTLE FOR HIS TRIP TO D.C.
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Filed under: Satire
December 4, 2008 • 2:19 pm 0
>GM CHIEF DITCHES PRIVATE JET; WILL HAVE ASSEMBLY LINE WORKER PULL HIM IN RICKSHAW TO D.C.
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Filed under: Satire
December 3, 2008 • 4:45 pm 0
>OBAMA TO NOMINATE BILL RICHARDSON TO CABINET FOR SOME REASON
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Filed under: Satire
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