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>OBAMA CLARIFIES SLOGAN: ‘GIVE ME YOUR CHECK AND I’LL GIVE YOU SOME CHANGE’

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>SARAH PALIN WARDROBE EXPENSES APPROACH JOHN EDWARDS’ HAIR CARE BUDGET NUMBERS

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>REPORT: PRESUMPTIVE ELECTION WINNER OBAMA BORROWED FROM 2009 DEFENSE BUDGET FOR HALF-HOUR AD

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>HARD TIMES: GOOGLE EMPLOYEES FORCED TO SUFFER WITH FEWER COTTON CANDY MACHINES

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>SEN. OBAMA BUYS GUN, GETS CONCEALED WEAPONS PERMIT; CITES FEAR OF McCAIN ELECTION LOSS

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>SECRET SERVICE ESCORTS MICHELLE OBAMA AND INTERIOR DESIGNER OUT OF WHITE HOUSE RESIDENCE

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>L.A. TIMES TO COMPLY WITH AVALANCHE OF REQUESTS, WILL RELEASE OBAMA-KHALIDI TAPE IN MID-NOVEMBER

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>OBAMA LAUNCHES 2012 RE-ELECTION BID

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>REVISED OBAMA TAX PLAN TARGETS ‘OBSCENELY WEALTHY’ TAXPAYERS MAKING OVER $50K

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>SOCIALIST IDEOLOGY REVEALED IN BACKMASKED OBAMA SPEECH

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>REP. JOHN MURTHA: ‘MY CONSTITUENCY, AS RECENT AS ONLY WEEKS AGO, WAS PRETTY MUCH ALL WHITE TRASH’

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>WILLIAM AYERS: ‘I HAVE NEVER HAD ASSOCIATIONS WITH THAT UNREPENTENT MARXIST BARACK OBAMA’

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>MAN RELIEVED TO SEE DOW UP 12 POINTS UNTIL BROWSER REFRESH REVEALED MORE RECORD LOSSES

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>RALPH NADER SPENDS $84 ON STAGE FOR ELECTION NIGHT CELEBRATION ‘JUST IN CASE’

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>AL GORE BRAVES RECORD FREEZE TO DELIVER GLOBAL WARMING SPEECH

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>RECENT ‘VOTERS’ REGISTERED BY ACORN INCLUDE INANIMATE OBJECT AND PIECE OF BELLY BUTTON LINT

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>McCAIN ROLLS OUT ‘HOLD YOUR NOSE AND VOTE FOR ME’ CAMPAIGN TO COURT RELUCTANT CONSERVATIVES

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>EXPERT: DOW SET FOR RECORD HIGH OR CATASTROPHIC COLLAPSE

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>MSNBC: INDEPENDENTS AND MODERATES ‘LIKE CINDY SHEEHAN’ SUPPORTING OBAMA

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>NATIONAL DEBT CLOCK, BIDEN GAFFE COUNTER RUN OUT OF DIGITS

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>SARAH PALIN TAKES BREAK FROM CAMPAIGNING TO VISIT AILING AND AGING JOHN McCAIN

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>BERNANKE: ZILLION DOLLAR STIMULUS PACKAGE ‘MIGHT WORK’

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>FORMER SEN. JOHN EDWARDS (D-RIELLE HUNTER) PLANNING 2024 COMEBACK

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>JOE THE PLUMBER AMASSING TROOPS AT OBAMAN BORDER

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>FORWARD-THINKING OBAMA LAUNCHES ‘DISENFRANCHISED VOTERS’ AND ‘STOLEN ELECTION’ LAWSUITS

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>WILLIAM AYERS’ REQUEST FOR REUPHOLSTERY OF DEFENSE SECRETARY CABINET SEAT RAISES QUESTIONS

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>McCAIN TO OBAMA: I WAS SWAPPING WAR STRATEGIES WITH CHURCHILL WHEN YOUR GRANDFATHER WAS PLAYING PENNY WHISTLES AND PLAYING MARBLES

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>INSIDER: ‘NEW, MORE ENERGETIC’ JOHN McCAIN SPONSORED BY RED BULL

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>KEITH OLBERMANN SET TO EXPOSE PLUMBER JOE FOR 1972 PEEK AT SCHOOLMATE’S TEST ANSWERS

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>OBAMA TELLS AMERICAN FLAG REDESIGNER TO ‘HANG TIGHT’ ON NEWS OF TIGHTENING POLLS

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>JOE THE PLUMBER FAILS INVOLUNTARY MSNBC ANAL EXAM

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>McCAIN QUIETLY CELEBRATES 93RD BIRTHDAY DURING SLOW OVERNIGHT NEWS CYCLE

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>OBAMA PLANS NOV 3 PARTY TO CELEBRATE ELECTORAL SUCCESS

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>BIDEN TURNS CAMPAIGNING FOCUS TO ‘FOUR LETTER WORD E-M-P-L-O-Y-M-E-N-T’

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>McCAIN NOW WITHIN MARGIN OF ERROR IN INTERNAL McCAIN FAMILY POLL

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>McCAIN CITES EVIDENCE OF ‘A SLOWER-PACED SLIDE IN POLLS’ AS PROOF HE WON DEBATE

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>JOE THE PLUMBER RACES PAST RALPH NADER IN POLLS AS WRITE-IN FAVORITE

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>OBAMA CITES LIE IN McCAIN ACCUSATION, SAYS CAREER WAS LAUNCHED IN AYERS’ JACUZZI, NOT LIVING ROOM

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>SNL SKIT WRITERS OVERWHELMED BY McCAIN FACIAL EXPRESSION PARODY CHOICES

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>PALIN STRATEGIST SUGGESTS COMEBACK BY ‘SWAPPING OUT THE TOP OF THE TICKET’

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>CLOSE-PROXIMITY MIND CONTROL DEVICE CONFISCATED FROM HILLARY CLINTON IN ADVANCE OF DEBATE ATTENDANCE

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>JOHN McCAIN OFFICIALLY ENDORSES SELF TO IMPROVE POLLING POSITION

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>NON-FRAUDULENT ACORN VOTER REGISTRATION FOUND

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>OBAMA CALLS FOR MID-NOVEMBER INVESTIGATION OF ACORN VOTE FRAUD ALLEGATIONS

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>NADER TAKES WEEK OFF TO CELEBRATE CLOSING IN ON 1% MARK’ IN NATIONAL HEAD-TO-HEAD-TO-HEAD POLL

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>HAMAS TO SERVE AS POLL WATCHERS IN JIMMY CARTER’S DISTRICT

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>BIDEN PULLS OUT HAIR PLUG OVER FRUSTRATING INTERVIEW

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>CONGRESS REQUESTS $500 BAILOUT FROM BANK BUYOUT BILL

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>McCAIN DENIES NEED TO PULL OUT OF McCAIN CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS, FOCUS RESOURCES ELSEWHERE

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>CBS POLL: OBAMA TRUMPS McCAIN BY DOUBLE DIGITS ON ECONOMY, NATIONAL DEFENSE, AND POW EXPERIENCE

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