Prevent Truth Decay

The Funny Side of Horribly Depressing News

>SEVEN YR OLD SAILOR’S SOLO CIRCUMNAVIGATION ATTEMPT FAILS IN PORT

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>WHITE HOUSE HR DEPT GETS NEW WAREHOUSE TO STORE OBAMA VACATION DAY REQUEST FORMS

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>OVERWHELMED SECRET SERVICE SUCCESSFULLY PROTECTED PREZ FROM JOY BEHAR ADVANCES

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>FED SPOKESMAN TOLD MENTION OF ‘END OF THE WORLD’ MAY SPOOK MARKETS

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>WIKILEAKS ASKS WHITE HOUSE TO STOP SENDING IN ‘OBVIOUSLY-PHOTOSHOPPED’ U.S. BITH CERTIFICATES FOR OBAMA

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>NEW MR. PRESIDENT POTATO HEAD TOY COMES WITH TELEPROMPTER, BLAME-POINTING FINGER

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>RIDICULOUSLY HUMONGOUS SINK HOLE OFFERS CAREER-ADVANCING PHOTO OP FOR AERIAL NEWS PHOTOGRAPHER

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>AREA MAN SICK OF THE ONION REPORTING ON EVERYTHING HE DOES

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>OFFICIALS: RELIEF WELL BEING DRILLED IN EFFORT TO STOP GUSHING MEL GIBSON RANTS

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>MILITARY DRONES TO MONITOR NOTE PASSERS IN PUBLIC SCHOOL CLASSROOMS

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>WHITE HOUSE HIGHLIGHTS OBAMA’S ‘SOLID’ 68% APPROVAL AMONG WHITE HOUSE STAFFERS

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>LINDSAY LOHAN ARRESTED FOR DRINKING IN SOLITARY CONFINEMENT

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>MEXICAN DRUG LORDS INVOLVED IN SOME REALLY MESSED UP STUFF

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>OBAMA NOT AMUSED BY ‘BABY ON BOARD’ WINDOW SIGN ON AIR FORCE ONE

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>OBAMA’S CZAR CZAR AXES PLAN TO CREATE ‘UNECESSARY’ CZAR CZAR CZAR POSITION

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>YANKS PAY TRIBUTE TO STEINBRENNER, FIRE A BUNCH OF PLAYERS, STAFFERS

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>SORKIN TO DIRECT JOHN EDWARDS HORROR FILM

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>EXHAUSTED FROM STRING OF VACATIONS, OBAMA TO UNWIND AT VACATION SPOT

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>PASSENGERS ANGERED OVER AIRLINES’ NEW ‘CRASH-FREE FLIGHT’ FEE

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>LEVI JOHNSTON PROPOSES TO BRISTOL PALIN’S MONEY

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>BP WITHDRAWS ‘ADMIT IT, YOU LOVE US’ AD CAMPAIGN

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>OBAMA GETS GULF OIL SPILL FIX EPIPHANY ON 18TH TEE BOX, DOESN’T FINISH ROUND

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>MICHELLE OBAMA BRAVES HEAT TO THANK WORKERS FOR INSTALLING AIR CONDITIONED DOOR-TO-LIMO WALKING TUBE

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>NASA: SPACE STATION CLIPS OUTER EDGE OF LEBRON JAMES HYPE

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>NASA URGES ‘UNDERSTANDING’ IN ROADSIDE IED INCIDENT

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>EPA GROUNDS GULF SKIMMING OPERATION AFTER OIL RESIDUE FOUND ON SHIP HULL

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>A HORRENDOUS AMOUNT OF INCOMPETANCY STILL GUSHING IN WASHINGTON’S SEA OF RED TAPE

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>RACHEL MADDOW: ‘KAGAN IS PRETTY. I MEAN PRETTY EFFECTIVE WITH HER ANSWERS AND ALL.’

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