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February 1, 2012 • 12:37 pm Comments Off
ROMNEY TO CLAIM VICTORY IN NEXT THREE PRIMARY CONTESTS, LEAVE FOR ‘MUCH NEEDED VACATION’ IN HAWAII
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January 27, 2012 • 2:40 am Comments Off
NEWT GINGRICH FLOATS PLAN TO PAY OFF DEBT WITH COLLATERALIZED MOONROCK-BACKED DEBT OBLIGATIONS
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January 26, 2012 • 3:08 am Comments Off
FRUSTRATED NIGERIAN PRINCE REALLY TRYING TO GIFT MILLIONS TO STRANGER IN U.S.
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January 25, 2012 • 2:24 am Comments Off
BIDEN FIGHTING UNCONTROLLABLE URGE TO SOMEHOW GAFFE-UP OBAMA’S SPEECH
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January 25, 2012 • 2:19 am Comments Off
OBAMA TURNS, RECOMMENDS DE-TANNING FOR ORANGED BOEHNER
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January 25, 2012 • 1:17 am Comments Off
OBAMA TO FOCUS EXCLUSIVELY ON TODAY’S WEATHER IN TONIGHT’S STATE OF THE UNION
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January 24, 2012 • 1:06 pm Comments Off
ROMNEY MAY FORM ACTUAL ARMY TO STOP GINGRICH ADVANCE IN FLORIDA
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January 22, 2012 • 12:48 am Comments Off
VIDEO CLIP OF NEWT SPANKING CNN’S JOHN KING WINS SC PRIMARY
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January 13, 2012 • 6:27 pm Comments Off
‘MORE ORGANIZED AND PROACTIVE’ PERRY DELIVERS SOUTH CAROLINA PRIMARY DEFEAT SPEECH
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January 10, 2012 • 6:39 pm Comments Off
OBAMA DETAINED FOR HARASSING VOTERS OUTSIDE NH POLLING PLACE
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January 10, 2012 • 12:50 am Comments Off
DESPERATE PERRY HOPES POGO STICK JUGGLING ACT CATAPULTS HIM TO ‘NOT LAST’ IN NH PRIMARY
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January 8, 2012 • 6:25 pm Comments Off
BOUND BROOK, NJ ON HIGH ALERT AS MANVILLE THREATENS TO CLOSE STRAIT OF RARITAN RIVER
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January 6, 2012 • 2:42 am Comments Off
HUNTSMAN PLACES SECOND IN HUNTSMAN FAMILY STRAW POLL
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January 3, 2012 • 10:40 pm Comments Off
HUNTSMAN GUARANTEES SOLE SUPPORTER HE’LL ‘DOMINATE THE IOWA CAUCUSES’
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December 16, 2011 • 5:47 pm Comments Off
TIM TEBOW: ‘I WANT TO AVOID BECOMING THE RICK PERRY OF FOOTBALL’
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December 15, 2011 • 12:40 pm Comments Off
2012 HURRICANE FORECASTS TO BE DETERMINED BY COUNTING ACTUAL HURRICANES AS THEY OCCUR
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December 8, 2011 • 5:48 pm Comments Off
ALEC BALDWIN KICKED OFF IRANIAN DRONE SPYING ON ADVANCED U.S. NUCLEAR PROGRAM
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December 6, 2011 • 12:53 pm Comments Off
GINGRICH GETS DREADED BILL CLINTON ENDORSEMENT
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November 30, 2011 • 10:03 pm Comments Off
CAIN CAMPAIGN BUOYED BY ONLY TWO ADDITIONAL SEXUAL MISCONDUCT CHARGES TODAY
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November 30, 2011 • 10:00 pm Comments Off
AMERICANS REMINISCE ABOUT THE ‘GOOD OL’ DAYS’ OF CARTER MALAISE
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November 24, 2011 • 5:01 am Comments Off
STUPID VAMPIRE MOVIE SEQUEL DISTRACTS NATION FROM PENDING DEMISE
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November 24, 2011 • 3:49 am Comments Off
UNDERGROUND APOCALYPSE SHELTERS TO OUTPACE SALE OF BABY FORMULA BY MID-2012, REPORT SHOWS
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November 24, 2011 • 3:46 am Comments Off
PENDING PALIN ENDORSEMENT BEING PLANNED TO BE MOCKED ON LATE NIGHT SHOWS
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November 18, 2011 • 6:19 pm Comments Off
MICHELLE BACHMANN’S ENTIRE STAFF QUITS; SAYS HER CHANCES TO WIN PRESIDENCY ARE SQUANDERED, BUT PLEDGES TO REMAIN MARRIED TO HER
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November 18, 2011 • 5:10 pm Comments Off
SANTORUM SKYROCKETS TEN POINTS IN HIS OWN MIND
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November 17, 2011 • 9:54 pm Comments Off
EMPLOYED LIBERAL LOOKING LONGINGLY OUT WINDOW AT FUN ‘OCCUPY’ RIOT
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November 5, 2011 • 3:04 am Comments Off
SOME KIND OF EUROPEAN DEBT CRISIS IN NEWS, REPORTS SAY
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November 5, 2011 • 2:58 am Comments Off
HUGE ASTEROID SET TO TOTALLY ANNIHILATE EARTH TOMORROW; POSSIBLY, SCIENTISTS SAY
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November 4, 2011 • 2:02 am Comments Off
REVERSING TRUCK BEEPING TO BE REPLACED WITH SARAH PALIN SCREECH
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November 3, 2011 • 4:44 pm Comments Off
IRAN FAILS TO SEND MONKEY INTO ORBIT; WOODEN SPACESHIP EXPLODES ON CARDBOARD LAUNCH PAD
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November 2, 2011 • 5:47 pm Comments Off
TOTALLY TRASHED RICK PERRY LOSES CONSERVATIVE BASE, GAINS SUPPORT FROM OCCUPY WALL STREETERS
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November 1, 2011 • 11:46 pm Comments Off
‘MORE HIP’ AND NEWLY BLEACHED-BLOND RICK PERRY SEEKS TO REVITALIZE FLOUNDERING CAMPAIGN
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October 27, 2011 • 9:48 pm Comments Off
REPORT: RICK PERRY MAY PASS ON FUTURE ROMNEY-FILLED DEBATES
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October 27, 2011 • 1:33 am Comments Off
MICHELLE BACHMANN THREATENS TO LEAVE INCREASINGLY INEPT BACHMANN CAMPAIGN
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October 21, 2011 • 12:03 pm Comments Off
CAIN TWEAKS 9-9-9 PLAN, ROLLS OUT 7.25-11.35(WITH DEDUCTIONS)-6.95(WITH EXCEPTIONS) PLAN
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October 21, 2011 • 12:37 am Comments Off
GADDAFI FINDS REFUGE FROM REBELS IN BLACKENED FIRE-FILLED WASTELAND
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October 19, 2011 • 11:59 pm Comments Off
MICHELLE OBAMA’S PLACEMENT OF RIGHT HAND OVER COPY OF SAUL ALINSKY BOOK DURING WORLD SERIES NATIONAL ANTHEM DRAWS CRITICISM FROM RIGHT-WINGERS
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October 19, 2011 • 12:35 am Comments Off
MICHELE BACHMANN’S COOL ‘WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS’ LINE EDGES HER 7 VOTERS CLOSER TO SIXTH PLACE
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October 18, 2011 • 5:00 pm Comments Off
LEAKED: HUNTSMAN PLANNING NUDE STAGE STREAK FOR VEGAS DEBATE
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October 15, 2011 • 2:43 pm Comments Off
BILL CLINTON DENIES HILLARY’S ‘FIND MY FRIENDS’ IPHONE LOCATOR APP REQUEST
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October 13, 2011 • 2:44 pm Comments Off
LOCAL MAN PREFERS CHATTING WITH NEW SIRI TO OLD WIFE
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October 12, 2011 • 1:32 am Comments Off
REPORT: GOP ILLUMINATI TRADED CABINET POSITION, CHILI’S DINNER COUPON FOR CHRIS CHRISTIE’S ROMNEY SUPPORT
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October 12, 2011 • 1:26 am Comments Off
ONSTAGE ROMNEY-PERRY SPAT DETERIORATES INTO BACKSTAGE HAIR-MUSSING WRESTLING MESS
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October 7, 2011 • 4:14 pm Comments Off
‘OCCUPY BONG SHOP’ CAMPAIGN GAINS MOMENTUM
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October 7, 2011 • 12:36 pm Comments Off
FLOUNDERING U.S. POSTAL SERVICE RUNS AD CAMPAIGN CRITICIZING ‘MALWARE-RIDDLED AND SPAMMY EMAIL LETTERS’
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October 7, 2011 • 12:29 am Comments Off
CRAWLING INTO RUNNING WOOD CHIPPER MORE DANGEROUS THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT
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October 4, 2011 • 4:08 pm Comments Off
CHRIS CHRISTIE ADMITS WORD ‘RUNNING’ IS CAUSING HESITANCY IN WHITE HOUSE BID DECISION
Filed under: Satire
